Because who doesn’t like a colorful hairy Wiener?

So, this has happened:*

Der katholische Wiener Kardinal Christoph Schönborn freut sich über den Sieg von Dragqueen Conchita Wurst beim Eurovision Song Contest (ESC). Es gebe im Garten Gottes eine “bunte Vielfalt”, sagte Schönborn dem österreichischen Blatt “Heute”. Auch jene Menschen, die sich in ihrem Körper nicht zu Hause fühlten, verdienten “den Respekt, auf den wir alle ein Recht haben”.

Zur Geschlechteridentität erklärte der 69 Jahre alte Wiener Erzbischof, er empfinde es als eine “wunderbare Idee” des Schöpfers, dass er den Menschen als Mann und Frau geschaffen hat. Aus dieser Polarität und wechselseitigen Ergänzung ergebe sich Anziehung, “Sich-nach-einander-Sehnen”, aber auch das “Miteinander-Ringen”. Im Kontext der Schöpfung sei das “Gottes faszinierendste Idee”. Demnach ist die faszinierende Idee auch in Conchita Wurst verkörpert.

A translation you can trust:

The Wiener Cardinal Schönborn is ecstatic about the victory of the transvestite, Conchita Wurst, in the European version of “The Voice.” In the garden of Eden, you see, there was a colorful [dare we say rainbow-like?] variety, and so even persons who do not feel at home in their bodies deserve respect.

How the good cardinal thinks that respecting transvestites entails rejoicing over one becoming a celebrity, I don’t know. I didn’t see the movie Noah–was there a colorful transvestite back in Eden?

Oh, well. More of that translation:

The 69-year-old Wiener cardinal explained that, as far as gender identity goes, he finds it a wonderful idea how the Creator made humans as man and woman. [I’m sure God is tickled by such flattery.] Out of this polarity and bivalent completion arises attraction, a “striving-towards-one-another”, as well as a “struggling-with-one-another”. In the context of creation, this is God’s most fascinating idea. This fascinating idea is also incarnated [!] in Conchita Wurst.

Our Lady of Fabulous

* [I suspect this title was seen as too contrived and lewd even for me, so let me clarify, for the benefit of those lucky few who will stumble upon this post in some eunpsecified future. In German “Wiener” means “resident of Vienna.” Cdl. Schönborn is thus literally a Wiener. Additionally, in English “wiener” means sausage, and the star’s stage name is “Wurst”, which in German means “sausage”–or wiener. On top of this, the Wiener cardinal described the sausage singer’s transgendered incarnation as colorful, and seeing as the singing sausage bears a beard, the object of Schönborn’s delight is a colorful, hairy wiener. Voila!]